Revisiting the Idiot Alert Files

Today, two idiots more than worthy of inclusion in the Alert Files came to my attention. One is a retro-moron, Pope Pius IX, and the other, Jeffrey Stier, is still very busily involved in spreading inanity even as I write.
Let us deal with the late pontiff first, shall we? This particular nutcase was a contemporary of Jefferson Davis, president of the Confederate States of America during the American Civil War, 1861-65. We all know Davis and his troops lost the war, and rightly so. What some of us may not know is what the pontiff did while Davis was held in prison for two years following the war's end. Seeking to show his solidarity with this good southern gentleman and slave owner, Pius sent a gift of a crown of thorns woven by the pope with his own hands and a portrait of himself autographed with the words from Scripture, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”
What I find myself wondering when I read about this idiocy is how many like gifts were sent from the Vatican to the hundreds and thousands of slaves who were taking up their crosses in the southern states? I wonder how many such presents were posted to the blacks who found themselves having to deal with the damn near insurmountable problems lobbed at them like rocket fire after the war by the intolerant whites who still clung to the delusion of racial superiority?
Pope Pius IX is already somebody I had considered for membership in the Idiot Alert Files simply by virtue of his having been responsible for the declaration of papal infallibility, but I could never quite find enough inspiration to waste any time writing about this pea-brain. Coming across this little nugget today however tipped the scale in the numbnut's favour, and so, Pius IX. welcome to the rank and file of idiots incomparable.
Mentioning peas in any way, even as a measure of brain size, serves well as an intro to the second dork upon whom membership will be granted today. Jeffrey Stier is associate director of the American Council on Science and Health, a group that accepts corporate funding from Coca-Cola, Kellogg’s and PepsiCo and generally sides with industries’ positions on health and environmental hazards. He is one of the many vocalizing their grave concerns about the ramifications of Michelle Obama's irresponsilbe and thoughtless organic gardening habits. Really, what was the woman thinking about, to plant a garden with the help of school children and not deluge it with chemicals? Who knows what nasty vegetable aberrants could result from such wilful carelessness? She claims to have been motivated simply by the desire to highlight the importance of a healthful diet for children and how much easier it can be to get children to voluntarily ingest their least favorite food group, vegetables, when produce they helped to grow is pulled fresh from the garden.
Thank heavens the public has such staunch defenders of their best interests as Stier. Interviewed recently on the Jon Stewart show, Stier explained his fearful reaction to Michelle's underhanded failure to sprinkle chemicals on anything and everything that stood still long enough. Said Stier, “I think the Obama garden should come with a warning label. It’s irresponsible to tell people that you should eat organic and locally grown food. Not everyone can afford that. That’s a serious public health concern.” The great intellect continued delineating the parameter of his concern over what havoc the White House garden could wreak. “People are going to eat fewer fruits and vegetables. Cancer rates will go up. Obesity rates will go up. I think if we decide to eat only locally grown food, we’re going to have a lot of starvation.”
The last two sentences uttered by this great thinker are really the ones that provide food for thought. If obesity rates do go up, can starvation, indeed, be very far behind? Obesity and starvation stalking the land, hand-in-hand. It's a picture that could only form itself in the mind of someone with a brain no larger than a pea, whether it be one grown organically or not.
Yes, Jeffrey Stier, the rank and file of the Idiot Alert Files are proud to welcome someone of such stunted mental stature as yourself. You do the organization proud.