Parenting by Lying

Research on the phenomenon of "parenting by lying" is published in the current edition of The Journal of Moral Education. Supported by a grant from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, Kang Lee, professor at the University of Toronto and director of the Institute of Child Study at OISE, and Gail Heyman, professor of psychology at UC San Diego and Diem Luu, a former UCSD student, conducted the research. They asked U.S. participants in two related studies about parents lying to their children; the one study surveying parents about their current parenting practices, and the other surveying college students about their recollections of their parents' lying. Both groups reported that the common practice is for parents to lie to their children at the same time as they are trying to teach them that lying is not acceptable under any circumstances.
Lee, in fact, states that their "findings showed that even the parents who most strongly promoted the importance of honesty with their children engaged in parenting by lying." Heyman makes the following point: "Children sometimes behave in ways that are disruptive or are likely to harm their long-term interests. It is common for parents to try out a range of strategies, including lying, to gain compliance."
Interestingly, the researchers compared parenting by lying along demographic lines, and found that Asian-American parents were more likely to report lying to their children for the purpose of influencing their behaviour than were European-American parents. One possible explanation posited by the researchers for this discrepancy is that, as compared to European-American parents, Asian-American parents tend to place a greater importance on teaching children to be respectfully obedient, and so they use strategies that include parenting by lying to meet this end.
Heyman and Lee are now preparing an international study to explore the subject further, as well as researching possible consequences of parenting by lying, such as it creating confusion in children about right and wrong.
While I agree, in general, with the idea of "parenting by truth", I also think there are times when parental stretching of the truth is okay. For instance, I wonder what Lee's and Heyman's studies make of Santa Claus and the countless variations on that theme? It's interesting that if you google synonyms for Santa Claus, you find "altruist, humanitarian, philanthropist" among the many regional variations. It would seem to me to be quite a valuable concept to be teaching to any child, and even if the teaching does start off with a carefully constructed lie, is it really doing any harm to introduce them to the red-suited gent? When my two were little, they knew there was a house nearby where mothers could take their children for safety from abusive husbands/fathers. They also knew that the whereabouts of the house were not made public so as to ensure the safety of those within. Each year at Christmas, my children took money from their piggy banks and used it to buy chocolates for the children in the house. I explained to them that Santa might not know their whereabouts because of how secret the house address was and so they gladly bought and delivered those goodies to share their good fortune with those less fortunate children at Christmas. It was their first experience of philanthropic giving and it was based on the "lie" that is Santa. It did them no harm at all. In fact, as young adults now, they still purchase and deliver candies and chocolates to that house.
It would be intriguing, indeed, to know Lee and Heyman's opinion of Santa.